Thursday, January 23, 2014

The best way to kill yourself addendum

Hi,
I wrote the The best way to kill yourself blog post. I had almost entirely forgotten about it when I noticed people were suddenly finding me on Facebook.

This blog post was getting really popular. Thank you for that. But now I feel like I have some sort of responsibility for it. Every once in a while I come across other methods of killing yourself and then I do a little investigation for the greater good, but now I have finally found a website that is quite similar to this blog post(although lacking my specific type of humor) and fully devoted to this cause, so I thought I just needed to share that with you.

Also thanks to firedingo who pointed us to this site from the comments.

http://lostallhope.com/ is a real good read and although it has a few articles trying to stop you from killing yourself, it has a lot more really helpful information. I'd say it is a must read.
Although if you look at the agony and lethality statistics you might feel like blowing your head off with a shotgun is the way to go, or perhaps jumping in front of a train which are really way too messy for my taste as I have mentioned before. But hey, it's Your life.

75 comments:

  1. I was googling for ways to kill myself, but i read your blog and changed my mind.... it is so funny that there is so many ways to do it and how much people about to do it or already did for a very silly reasons....

    my reasons are a lot worse than all what read, but still i think there is a way out and i will find it one day...

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    1. Hala Norri can you post what your reasons were, so we all can see that yours were so much worse then mine or anyone elses.
      I have been living with the abuse that my parents did to me as far back as I can remember they were causing me and my siblings it was physical and sexual and emotional and terrorizing you name it they did it and in ways that no one could want to imagine. I was being sold to the highest bidder at their sick parties when I was 7 and would you like to know that my first sexual experience was? well I think I will write it here for you, My mothers first husband who was my fathers Cousin Raped my mothers sister when she was 9 in front of me I was 2 and afterwards my father took me in another room after watching that sick pervert doing that to my aunt for his and my mothers sick pleasure, and he tied me down to the bed and he raped me, I was 2 and I remember it and my aunt remembers it because my mother made her watch this act that was being done to me by my father, And that is the way it was till I got away from them and was on the road at 12 and I got caught and went through abuse in different ways and by other people and I ended up in a reform school out in Wyoming and I was abused there by the staff and other girls in the reform school, but I thought I found a way out I got married for the first time just after my 16th birthday and guess what he abused me and his mother helped him to abuse me in a mental way and emotional way till I felt I could not stand the pain anymore and I shot myself with a 22 pistol , I did not hit a major artery so I lived and I have been living with the consequences of that act still now at 50. I have scars that are horrible and I have bowel problems and now kidney problems because I that bullet nicked one of my kidneys, and then I got away from him and my second husband beat me and did horrible things to me, and I got away from him and now my husband of 23 years is doing the same, Except I have no where else to go, so I have to stay and take it even though everyday he chips away at what is left of my hope and replaces it with worthlessness. I am hanging on a thread if I leave I am homeless and I have way too many illnesses I am dealing with to live on the streets, so my other way out would be to kill myself because at least then I have somewhere to go and that is into the ground. and this is just the tip of a giant iceberg. Lets see I saw my father suffocate my little brother Timmy with one of his filthy socks, I saw him throw my little sister Becky who was a beautiful baby girl and nothing wrong with her He threw her across the room she hit the wall and landed in her crib and she stayed there for 4 days not getting any help or any care, every time I tried to go and change her or help her I got backhanded and a backhand from my father was like getting hit by semi truck his hands were the size of basket balls. so do you still think your reasons are way more worse than mine or anyone elses? IF you do please post them and please email them to me at maine_daisey@yahoo.com . I guarantee your reason are bad to you but your reasons are not worse than any other person posting on here, Everyone can feel pain and worthlessness and without hope. So please if you think that your reasons are so much worse post them. I hope you keep fighting and you stay alive because I think all people are worth something but somedays for me I have that challenge am I worth something or am I worthless, Hugs Tersa

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  2. I have grown up in a clean family No drugs,No alcohol,and No bad stuff.My family does not really support me they choose what i should do like karate and other stuff i want to do what i want to do my family doesnt really care about my thoughts or comments its like im a dummy to them

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    1. Hello KaBoomGaming123 Can I ask how old you are and will you tell me honestly? Lets see anyone under 18 living in their parents home has rules you have to follow, and if you are still there at 27 like my daughter Sierra is there are still rules you have to follow, Now here is why my 27 year old daughter Sierra is living here now, She could not afford a rent and the new car she had to buy so she could get to her Internships for her Pharmacy grad school. So she moved back in here, but even she has rules and things she must do while living here, So you are talking about a good home where you are not having anything bad done to you except you want to do what you want to do, and all Children feel this way no matter what age they are if they are living with their parents. So please tell me how old are you. I know you probably hear this all the time ,, someday you will understand why your parents are doing any of this for you or to you. WHy is karate so bad to take, You might need it to defend yourself one day if a mugger attacks you or worse you are about to be raped. and what other things are they forcing you to do ? If you do not post it no one knows and then they read this and it certainly sounds like a teenager complaining about not getting their way, I hope things get better for you, Have you tried to sit them down and have a rational conversation with them? Or you could suggest to your guidance counselor that you would like to have her mediate the conversation, Or maybe you can tell them you want to go see a therapist and once you are going and you tell him or her how you are feeling they can mediate the situation and conversation with your parents, So again how old are you and do you think any of these options might work for you? Hugs Tersa

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    2. I know how you feel as I'm going through that right now myself. I don't it's worth living anymore.

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  3. Why I would like to? Why? I was raised in a very very abusive physically emotional mentally home & watch my poor dearly mother beating up by my father who was very very strict and demanding! then I swore to myself never marry a man like him but unfortunately I did! I had 6-7 miscarriages throughout having my kiddos. I also have asthma & I don't even smoke but I had to be the only child who got it from 2nd had smoking from my parents! I've also had the singles & gallbladder removed from having stones & my dumb husband is in the military which makes us station in Jacksonville North Carolina away from my family who is piss at me to come home because my father is not in his best of health calling ME selfish b***h! But WHO was there when my mother passed away??? ME!!!!! ONLY ME out of 4 & I'm the selfish one! I guess they all knew that I was there for my beloved mother & expect the same for my father! I live in a 4bed 2 baths 1 living room a den the kitchen w/ a dining room & a garage with a attic for $950 a month! Now I'm sooo stress out moving back home cuz the cost of living in so ridiculous expensive for a 3 bed is about 3,000 & up in Midland Texas I'm freaking out of how my family and I are going to survive out there! I have been so much stress for the last past 7 years from all of this that I gain 33-34 pounds & my damn hair is falling out! O n my sooo NOT called wonderful husband is cheating on me! Now tell me why NOT to kill myself!?!

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    1. I'm not a trained professional, nor am I someone who knows you well, but I do know some universal truths that apply to all. I can tell through your post that all the problems that you have shown are through the actions of others. You can remove these from your life and live better. You have children. I know as a seventeen year old, despite my growth to the solitude of adulthood, I desperately need my mother in my life, and your kids the same. Even if they don't show it, they do. Their lives will be ruined if you are removed permanently from their lives. Plus (not sure if you noticed), you have so many positives as well. You have a home, so you aren't homeless. You actually have children, unlike many out there who are unable to. There are marriage counselors out there that are probably a million times more certified than myself, so you and your husband can have those serious, life changing talks. Those around you will not be able to bear you forever gone. There's so much to live for! Life has a tendency to act like a rollercoaster; these downhill negatives in your life will be replaced by uphill positives, I guarantee it. Remember, there are thousands of trained professionals out there who can help you, including our national suicide prevention hotline. Take care, God bless!

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    2. I hate my life that's why I came here

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    3. Because...just because. I grew up in that same household. And I hated my father all my life. I have tried to get away from the life I was raised around and I did for a while but I then fell back into it. I dont want you to kill your self because screw them. Screw your husband and anyone else who takes you for granted. As your friend I would never and I would never make you feel unwanted or mistreated. Remember you have all your life to live and there is someone like me out there for people like you. You just never know. Don't you worry, uglyfatscarrednobody!

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    4. uglyfatscarrednobody I understand where you are comming from, I grew up in that same home maybe even worse I do not know your whole story but I would like to , you can email me at maine_daisey@yahoo.com and tell me if you like, and I will tell you mine. I am living with an asshole too, I want to leave but I have no where to go, I want to go to a state without snow and where I can get a job in phlebotomy I have a certificate I got in 1999 and I did this for almost a year and then we adopted our youngest, and now she is 15 I want to go back to work but here in Maine no one wants to hire me and I really want to leave Maine, so if anyone can tell me where I can go where there is no snow and I can actually get a job in phlebotomy or one that pays enough for me to make my car payment of 380 a month and insurance on top of that and a rent and the things people need to survive please email me at maine_daisey@yahoo.com because I want to leave him but if I stay I will end up killing myself and I want to live but I need to leave him to do this but if I cannot find the place I need to be where I can take care of me then what other choice do I have, so see I do understand where you are comig from, Hugs Tersa

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    5. Why in the world would you adopt a child into your horrific existence?

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  4. It's like reverse-psychology, i came here looking for a good clean way to kill myself but now all i want to do is live!

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    1. Jeremy Walters that is great, keep that feeling and live, Hugs Tersa

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  5. :) the same as me, when ever i want to do it i just read this again and change my mind :D

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    1. I hope it will keep you from ever ever doing the deed, if reading all this helps keep you alive or helps yougo find help to keep you alive then read away baby read away, Hugs Daisey

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  6. I have been struggling with a severe opiate addiction and i made 10 months clean yesterday because of a court appointed program. My mother is very mentally abusive to me and threatens to have me put back in prison on a daily basis even calls the police on me and says that im trying to kill her and that im on probation. I am on serious probation. Ive done 14 months in prison behind this drug program due to relapses. My mother called the police and said i stole her car to get me in this program by the way. Ive gained 160lbs my hair is falling out and im miserable. She got me an apartment and car which is both in her name. I have classes and aa mtgs i have to go to and if i dont ill go to jail. She just had my car towed and told me to find my own way. Im not a bad person i struggle everyday to survive. And now this. Over my dead body will i go back to prison.My father lives out of state and he called me and i told him what happend so he called the police and they said there isnt anything i can do but get away from her. Well that is impossible bc i live in a apartment and her name and now im carless which means ill be going back to prison next week. Im not going back to prison....

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    1. I pray you made it thru. Even though what your Mother did wasnt right, the outcome won'tbe that bad and life will go on.

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    2. Hey pomlover21 please email me at maine_daisey@yahoo.com If I get your name right then you love pomeranians? Am I right? IF I am please email me about your feeling here and about Pomeranians. I used to breed and Show AKC show Quality Pomeranians for years, ANd I feel you in this post,, so please email me, Hugs Tersa

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  7. I do want to die, it's just finding the courage to do it!

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    1. demon if you are still looking for courage then you are not ready to kill yourself. You still have HOPE and you can still find some help, I hope you try everything before you decide to kill yourself. You are worth something and that is looking for help you deserve help and you are worth that help, Please exhaust every avenue before you do this because if you get it right, your gone and if you don't get it right you may be permanently damaged. so you make sure you do everything in your power to get help before you find that courage to do the deed, hugs Tersa

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  8. What is the true story Henry that helped you see the light????

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    1. Yea Henry come on tell us what helped you the most and got you to your enighted space, I want to know too, Hugs Tersa

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    2. Nothing too shocking, I just jumped out of an airplane.

      But for someone with a fear of heights that's actually quite a big deal. I was scared to death. My colleagues were going to skydive and I always wanted to go do that, but my fear of heights made that impossible so I automatically declined. But then I realized that my fear of heights was actually just all about my fear to die of a fall, and since the love of my life had just proposed to me and then left me, I kind of didn't care if I lived or died at that time. So why should I be afraid of heights?. I ran after my colleague and said; "i'm in". "But what about your fear of heights?", she said. To which I replied; "I realized it is not heights that I am afraid of, it is falling to my death, that I used to be afraid of".

      The ride there was exciting, and I thought many times about not going through with it, but I am also true to my word and I would do it anyway. Also I still felt like I had nothing to loose and all the more to gain. It was quite odd sitting on the ledge of an open door of an airplane looking down. It' is a strange mix of "OMYGODI'MGONNADIE!!!" and "who cares, look at how pretty this is". This is amplified tenfold when you actually fall out of that plane. The few seconds of free fall were terrifying and exhilarating beyond belief. I realized there and then that there were so many things that I hadn't done yet, so many things I still had to experience.

      This was the point where I had found my will to live again and also the point where I realized that you sometimes have to risk it all to really feel alive.

      Also, adrenalin is awesome!!!

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    3. I'm not saying adrenalin is the magic cure for depression, but it did allow me to wake up and break the downwards spiral I was in.

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  9. Suicide is all I think about. Even with the pills that I'm taking. I just want to slit my wrist open and let the blood squirt all over.

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    1. Please find another way to solve your issues.. obviously you need to vent to someone. Do you have anyone you trust that you can talk too??

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    2. Trevond I have those same thoughts, but mine are in the winter when I think about slicing my wrists and letting it flow onto the fresh white snow, But I know if I am slitting my wrist the form that will be the right way to get you dead is slice up not across and slice deep you have to hit an artery for you to die from doing this, Hugs Daisey

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  10. I would like to just say goodbye to my wife and son. My parents....well, I guess they may deserve some kind of explanation but that will have to wait. I will make sure I have enough of pills and make sure the job is done because I will not be found for a while enough time to make sure I stop breathing. I want a better life for my wife and for my son. With me out of the way they could mourn me and get on with life. There is a better life out there for them both. I want them to live with her parents and one day make sure you remarry to someone who can give you and Thomas the love and respect that you both deserve. I am 42 soon to be, and never will be 43. If anyone ever finds this make sure that My wife Michele understands that I couldnt tell her about this, and she was my best friend. I wasnt smart enough to get them through life and not smart enough to be the father Thomas needed. I will I could leave you more behind than bull shit words and memories of a man who was a coward and couldnt do much with life. I did two great things with my life, I met you and we had a son Thomas.I know people will call me a coward and life will go on and I would have hurt so many, but I am a coward and Always will be and this is the cowardly way out. So judge me not my actions, buy judge me on the actions of my life. So many people need help and there is no one to talk to and no were to go. Im 42 married with a kid, where do I go, who do I talk to. I tired of writing. I will see you all when I see you. Love life the best you can.

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    1. Tom I here you and you want email me if you have not done this deed yet at maine_daisey@yahoo.com I know the feeling I feel like I am worthless my husband cannot even keep his word t me not to hit me and not to threaten me and to only go to 2 nights a month to his stupid magic the Gathering games, we started seeing a marriage counselor and she gave him permission to go every weekend well that is what he thought, IF we go again this week I am going to tell her about the beating i took 3 weeks ago that he did not want me to tell her about and that he gave me his word only to go to 2 nights a month to that stupid game and that he threatened me by saying I am going to bash your brains out with the telephone because I reminded him of his word and then he said I set him up to fail because I knew if I said it any time before it would of been the same way., He blames me for his hitting me and his verbal and emotional abuse, I am at my wits end , I want to leave him but I have no where to go and no job, I want to go to another state a warmer state without snow so I can start over I have a certificate in Phlebotomy I got it in 1999 and I loved doing it, and I will be maid anything that pays enough so I can live in a small small apartment and pay my car payment and insurance, THe car payment is 380 a month, He pays it as long as I am here for him to abuse me, so see I really have no where to go. It leaves me little choice to what comes next. and like you I leave behind children all grown but one and an asshole husband and his enabling Mother. so if I cannot find a place to go I know what I will do, because of my past (I made a post on here somewhere of my childhood) and the life I have here with him now if I cannot escape to another state and find a place to live and a job that pays enough to pay my rent and a car payment and insurance payment and leaves me a little to eat and other things that are necessary I will have no other choice but to kill myself, Thanks for listening, Hugs to Tom but if you can find another a way please do because there has to be people who love you, I know that I have no one out there besides my children who love me but they cannot help me find these things, I need to go somewhere where he cannot find me and there is no snow and where I can find a job and a rent and be able to live, hugs Tersa

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    2. California Tersa! No snow, tonz of places to work, as a plebotemist, maybe live in a cheap rent area, like in the inland empire area

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  11. I don't think you should give up on yourself or your child... growing up without a Father is easy extremely difficult and still hard to deal with as an adult. Things may be tough now but NOTHING last 4ever!! Even if you need to vent to a stranger do it!! Don't be afraid to let your feelings out. One day your life will be full of happiness and you will wonder why taking your life was even an option!!! Bless you much & your family love. I pray you make it thru this tough time and maybe help someone else..

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  12. Can't believe I found this site I hope to find some good ideas I'm going to shock everyone because it takes some huge guts to kill yourself and I want to be able to follow through I've prayed that God would just take me because I feel like I'm not brave enough to do it myself... The feeling of feeling like ppl will treat u better once you are dead sucks... I'm just tired of hurting I've been through a life long of pain and I'm just done all strength has been drained from me and I just want to end it all... No one loves me, and I see why just look how pathetic I have become! Who really cares any way friends and family are only I interested in the entertainment of your life any how and others will only judge you...at this point I'm just a waste of space and poor use of skin and soul...I'm just tired what's the use of being here anymore

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    1. JJ i have to say a lot of what you wrote here touches me, I too have been through life long pain and I am 50 and as far back as I can remember I have been abused and used by someone in my life, my parents abused me and my siblings in ways that no one could or would want to imagine and they hurt us all in ways that would turn yours or anyones stomachs, I feel like the life has been drained from me as well and most days I feel hopeless and every day I feel worthless because I am living with husband number 3 and he is abusing me as well, I know if I could get out and away from him to another state without snow and where I could get a job and take care of me, I need a job that will pay enough for my car payment of 380 and the insurance on it and a rent and everything that folks need to survive, I have been trying to look but I still have not found anything, but I know if I stay here much longer I am going to end up taking my life and I know what I will use I will use his insulin once it is in it will be too late to save me, I have tried my pills but if I put too many in my stomach they only make me throw up. so that is not something I can do, I have oxycodones and tizanidine and fentanyl patches and blood pressure meds and anti depressants meds, you name it I have it and I have several moths worth of each. I am just tired of being in pain weather it is physical or emotional or from the abuse he is heaping on me along with my past abuse, I am so tired of it all but no one is stepping up to say hey I will help you find a place and you will be free of that abuse he is doing to you, I need to post it on craigslist maybe I am worried I might get some wierdo that just wants to kill me and eat my innards. But I know I want to do this and I need to do this to keep me from killing myself and that is to find a sate that has no snow and that I can just start over, a place where it will not matter that 3 years ago he hit me with a baseball bat to the mouth and I had to have my teeth pulled and the dentures do not fit they never have fit right, so I have no teeth and I hope that will not hinder my job where I will be working as a phlebotomist or a maid or for wal-mart I would even work at wal-mart if they would help in relocating me, I just want to get away from him and be able to get a job and to ship my belongings to where ever I end up, So hopefully someone will help me do this or point me in the right directions, because if I stay I will kill myself, and like I said most days I have no hope but everyday here I feel worthless by his actions towards me. Hugs Tersa

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  13. wrote a note its my time to go

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  14. So many heartbreaking stories, I wish you all the best that life has to offer and I hope that you will find something to make your life still worth living.

    Thank you Daisey / Tersa for offering your time to anyone who needs it. I hope things will improve for you soon. Surely a person with their heart in the right place like you deserves it.

    Hala Norri, keep the faith, life is weird and it can turn around on you in an instant so just hang in there and keep trying your best.

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  15. I will be gone soon it is a good thing.

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  16. My daughter the only kid I can ever have is choosing to go back to her mother who beat her and let her older half sister beat and abuse her. If I loose her then I know I’ll loose every thing else in my life. Job, place to live and so on, if I loose all that then I will be sent to prison for 10 years. She’s all that keeps me going, and keeps me working to stay out of prison. Someplace I really don’t care to be. I’ve been rich and I’ve lived on the streets, quite a few times in my 36 years. I'm in constant pain and suffer from depression. I can get my hands on xanax, oxy's, somas, and methamphetamines. My plan is if I loose my child to shoot a mix of the oxy’s and methamphetamines, take 120 1mg xanax, 30 or more 2mg xanax and about 20 350mg soma’s, plus eat a gram of methamphetamines and 20 oxy’s. I don’t think that in its self will do the trick so was going to go to a racing shop and get the biggest container of nitro I can get. Lock myself in my shed take the pills and shots and methamphetamines while opening the nitric tank to full. I believe it would take a day or two for anyone to find me. Does anyone think this would work? I do plan on giving my brother a video of my reasons for doing this to give to my daughter once she is 18 or 21. Or possibly when she is 25, since there is a 25 year age difference between me and my daughter.

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    1. Hi. I'm in a similar situation. How did it go for you?

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  17. I already entered my comment with my reasons but I cannot even do that right as it disappeared immediately. I suck. that's the important part of my reason anyway. I need to go.

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  18. I feel like i'm programmed to fail. Throughout my life something pushes me in the ditch and over the years it gets worse and worse. When things look to be heading good within a flash it happens again. I have the thought of ending it for some time now while i was going through stuff and then bam more crap is just released i find. Sometimes when i drive home from work i want to end it then and there.

    After reading your methods I like the CO method with a car and maybe the combination of sedatives. Ill take the cat off and sit in the garage.

    I feel selfish but i honestly don't want to think of the next thing that would happen to me. I just know it will.. It always does..

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    1. You are not programmed to fail. You are merely programmed to focus on your failures. It is true, we always focus on things that go wrong, it has been scientifically proven. The things that go right in our lives don't need our attention and are thus mostly ignored. Try to focus on the things that go right for a few days, perhaps you will be able to see life more objectively and I think you will find out that the percentage of good versus bad, is more like 50% than you initially thought.

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    2. So I'm pretty sure my last comment didn't work,
      I haven't done anything but I feel like I'm trapped in this nightmare when I'm awake. I try to think of the good thoughts I really do but the negatives just keep hitting me.. I don't want to do something I can't regret but this is really killing me

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    3. I've started cutting.. Never thought i would be the one in this position. I cant cope with whats happening. How long would it take? Removing the Cat and in a closed garage with all windows down?

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  19. I want to die my truck just got impounded I have a decent job but it's never enough my gf is 3 hrs away in college idk what to do and I have ptsd from being overseas. ...

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  20. I want to die my truck just got impounded I have a decent job but it's never enough my gf is 3 hrs away in college idk what to do and I have ptsd from being overseas. ...

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  21. Been thinking about it since lady weekend. The only thing that holds me back is that I have two young children. I am trying to find an alternative and so I'm exploring the concept of 'walk in soul' as I do not want to leave my children without a mother. You have any thoughts on this please

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    1. Hi Pixie, I don't have kids but i do have my parents. I've been in the same mind sense but the thing that holds me back is my parents. I've been so close to doing things and I'm still struggling. I have started to reach for counseling and such. This is helping but time will tell..

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  24. I'm gonna try bag over head tonight. I'm so fucking scared.. holy shit! I don't wanna killmyself but i have no choice :(

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  25. Still can't figure out the best way to go..not normally suicidal but i rather die than go to prison for no reason..my daughter has to miss me either way so why allow myself to suffer all that time?? Fml

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  26. Still can't figure out the best way to go..not normally suicidal but i rather die than go to prison for no reason..my daughter has to miss me either way so why allow myself to suffer all that time?? Fml

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  27. Best suggestions I've seen on the Internet so far. Sometimes I'm suicidal and sometimes I try to keep my head up because I wanna to see what else life has to offer besides the bullshit I'm going through right now. There are probably people out there who are going through a lot more hell then I am, but sometimes life gets really stressful and sometimes I'm really tempted to consider possibly committing suicide. If things don't get any better, I just might go on with it.....

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  28. Best suggestions I've seen on the Internet so far. Sometimes I'm suicidal and sometimes I try to keep my head up because I wanna to see what else life has to offer besides the bullshit I'm going through right now. There are probably people out there who are going through a lot more hell then I am, but sometimes life gets really stressful and sometimes I'm really tempted to consider possibly committing suicide. If things don't get any better, I just might go on with it.....

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  29. People sucide is not the answer! Give it a day it will get better!! Put your right hand over your ❤️ , do you feel that beat? That's your body saying " your not done yet". It is encouragement ; you can do it. Keep your head up and one foot in front of the other. I BELIVE IN YOU!!!!!!

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    1. Sweet heart but u wouldnt be here if you had a way out, none of can see a way out

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    2. Sweet heart but u wouldnt be here if you had a way out, none of can see a way out

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  30. please, to all people on this board or that have visited. young and old, male or female, with or without a family or loved ones, fat or thin, homeless or not, employed or unemployed. addicted or without the suffering of addiction..please, please try and make it another day....we all have our story which has brought us here.just please try and make it one more day...

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  31. I know this will get you hard and I want to contribute to your erection that's my last contribution but anyway my friend Stacey Ortiz just hung herself from your advice and I'm next my name is Rocco. Bye everyone

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  32. Reading all the comments,it seems that I will not die a lonely death after all.

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  33. my life is crap i have nothing nobody cares im always depressed always thinking about killing myslef but guess what i dont have the guts im pathetic sob.

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    1. You hang on and i'll hang on. Linky-pinkies ?

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  34. Hi, Im not sure why my last post/questions were deleted, rather frustrating really.
    I will try once again:
    Im a 39 year old aussie and was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy last year, Im in a heap of pain both physically and mentally and my wife, well, she comes from a country (Indonesia) where disabled people are kicked to the curve and had basically left me to try and kill myself once before.
    Anyways I am prescribed oxycontin (opiate) and targin (slow release opiate), both 20 mgs, 3 times a day and valium 2mgs twice a day.
    How much of this at swallowed at once would it take to end my life? Moderator please don't delete my question this time

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  35. this world sucks and it is fucked up i am going to kill myself

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    1. This world is cruel and fucked up I may just be a stranger but I care about you! Your not alone! If you ever want to talk about things feel free to get in touch. thank you !

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  36. This is my first time posting on a public forum and I sincerely hope to be a one hit wonder...
    Since August of this year I have tried pills, slitting my wrist ( shards of broken mirror did not work very well, it just left very ugly scars), and just this morning I found myself sitting in my running car in my garage. While I was sitting there I was looking online for how long this process should take when I read, on several different sites, that thanks to catalytic converter's this might not work as efficiently as I first believed. Well F*CK me running! I dont have the time this morning to sit for hours hoping it works. I will take a couple sleeping pills tonight after everyone is in bed and as I start to get sleepy I will retire to the comfort of my car, crank it up, roll down the windows, and hopefully get some much needed rest. If my efforts lack success, I will have under my belt yet another failure and I will post my disappointment but if it works...ah, if it works this will be all. I wish all of you success in achieving that which you desire.

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  37. If you eat several Oleander leaves, you cannot be saved. Also mushrooms are good. By the time you feel sick they are being absorbed by your colon and it's too late.
    Why the surprise about people looking for ways to die, people just want it to be over.
    Must be a hard concept to grasp if you don't have a sh*tty life.
    I am fine tuning my exit strategy right now.

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  38. I hate my life and I hate that I have bi polar disorder and alcoholism. My husband tells me to go kill myself when he gets mad and calls me a bitch. Everything is my fault. I ask for a hug and a kiss when he gets home and now all of a sudden I'm a controlling bitch. He spends all his time at home on his phone for 5 hours or more at a time. He doesn't look at me or talk to me and I think wow this is my life. I've lost 3 kids. Been married 3 times and now with an asshole who can't take five mins of his precious time to show I matter a fucks worth to him. Love is a lie. It's all bullshit in the beginning and then once they get comfortable with you is all downhill after that. It never stays like it was in the beginning. He doesn't even wanna fuck but maybe once every two weeks. Then he has the fucking balls to tell me to go kill myself. Part of killing myself would be just the pleasure of knowing I hurt him and made his own fucked up words backfire on him. I can't kill him nor do I want to. He should live a miserable fucking life knowing his first wife killed herself because he couldn't stop running his fucked off mouth. Everything I've been through with him and I think the only reason he is with me is to torchure me. My family could give a fuck less if I was dead. They don't even talk to me anymore. My kids don't know me and I don't think I'd have anything good to bring to them anyways. After reading all these comments for the whole night I've come to the conclusion that people only care about them selves. They could give a fuck less about anyone truly than them selves. Me included.
    I think if one were to choose to live then accepting that fact of life would be the first breakthrough. No one not one person places anyone else over their selves. So in my mind I have to stop expecting things from people, stop expecting them to do the right thing or treat me the right way because they have a whole different perception of what they think is right and what they thing is OK. People are selfish beings. Life is not a fucking Disney movie. Life is fucked up and the people in it are fucked up. So once you stop wishing for things to be better and see things for how they really are you may just want to off yourself but at least you'll understand that people are solely out for themselves and no one else will ever be above that. So when my husband is a piece of shit to me and ignores me for days and weeks at a time I can step back and look at him from the perspective that he is just another selfish human being that only gives a fuck about his ways. That helps me to see things in a better light.

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  39. I only had one thing in my life. I had this one person i swore to take care of, and well i turned this person's life to hell the day i got to be with her, basically the only thing i wanted to do was protect this person, i failed horribly because i hurt this person myself, i just feel like this person is losing hope and faith in everything because of me, and i feel like this person also is starting to hate me slowly, i don't really deserve the life i had neither wanted it, i just wanted a life with this person, and i screwed it up, i hate myself more than anything, i have been thinking about doing this for years, but i guess i should consider it now for real

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  40. I'm not so depressed. I take life as it comes. For me it is the fear of getting old. I just went through having cancer and will never go through chemo again. For me it is getting it over with. We all die one day or another and not one can say how they will die unless they do it themselves. I'm happy as long as I have coffee, TV, a bed to sleep in. Just simply things. My life isn't the greatest. Used to be average. A house a job so forth. A few things happen. But still have coffee, bed, TV. I want to know what happens when we die. I am scared and excited about it. I don't have any fascination about being here for a reason but if I am I have gotten through that. No one left but my dad and I think when he goes I want to. But my way. Why should I have to wait to know what the after life is like. I don't want to live with the fear of not knowing. I just want to get it over with and I don't think others will understand it. I have devoted into ouji boards even trying to find out.

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